Tequila Christmas Cake

1 cup sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1 cup water
1 tsp. salt
1 cup brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 bottle tequila
2 cups dried fruit


  • Sample the tequila to check quality.
  • Take a large bowl, check the tequila again.
  • To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.
  • Turn on the electric mixer.
  • Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
  • Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
  • At this point it’s best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup… just in case.
  • Turn off the mixerer thingy.
  • Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
  • Pick the frigging fruit up off floor.
  • Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry> it loose with a drewscriver.
  • Sample the tequila to check for tonsisticity.
  • Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something.
  • Check the tequila.
  • Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. No wait..shtrain the lemon juice and shtift your nuts.
  • Add one table, no, add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
  • Greash the oven.
  • Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
  • Don’t forget to beat off the turner.
  • Finally, throw the bowl through the window.
  • Finish the tequila and wipe counter with the cat.


Cherry Mristmas

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